Today I went for a walk. I have been sick for a few days so yesterday I came home early from work and slept, and this morning I felt better. So after dropping my son off at school I bundled up and went walking along the harbor, looking at the variety of boats nestled among the slips. It was a great moment for clarity, to breathe in the coldness and feel it on my fingers, while moving through patches of sun for warmth. I thought about stories, possibilities. I thought about my current character whose story I'm writing and how to transform her into a strong woman my readers will empathize with. I’ve missed those moments, those walks I used to do years ago before life got in the way and I became too busy. The creative juices I had back then almost boiled me raw.
All my life all I’ve ever wanted to do is write, and now I’ve been blessed with the chance to fulfill my dream. Walking alongside the harbor, seeing the sparkling ocean, reminded me that it is so easy to sit on the laurels of what has been achieved...though I’m far from accomplished. I’ve remembered that I should never take for granted the opportunities I’ve been given. The drive I once had, before my first book being picked up for publication, came speeding back into me like a steam roller, demanding to know why I let so much complicate the dream.
So. There it is. How could I forget it? How could I keep telling myself, “Soon…” when soon is now? I’ve missed the voices in my head, the ideas overflowing until I can’t sleep until I write them down. I’ve missed that writer I used to be.