50 Shades: The Musical...a Review

This show claims to be a parody but I’d call it more of a hilarious mockery of the bestselling book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’.  And the best part is that you don’t have to have read the book in order to enjoy this show.  Sure, there were certain aspects of the book that were highlighted and joked about: Charlie Tango, biting her lip, and saying Laters, baby.   But if you’re expecting a faithful interpretation of the book, you’d be in for a surprise.

We start out with three bored housewives in a book club trying to determine what to read next.  One brings out a soup cookbook, one brings out ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’, and the third brings out ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. 

This is a musical, so don’t be shocked when they break out into song.  But don’t expect pleasant little ditties.  Oh no, expect topless men dancing with nice bulges, a woman dressed in a corset and garters.  And expect highly suggestive lyrics like:

1. “There’s a hole inside of me/A hole in the plot/A dark, empty space/But, who could fill my slot?” — “There’s a Hole Inside of Me”

2. “Sexy ladies in New York City, I’m gonna power-fuck your titties/If you’re livin’ in Carolina, I’m gonna get in your vagina/All y’all honeys down in Texas, I’m gonna jizz on your solar plexus” — “I Don’t Make Love”

3. “How much can you take?/How much can you handle?/Clamps upon your nipples?/Hot wax with a burning candle?” — “Red Room”

4. “We’re just like any other couple/He loves the girl I am inside/ He tells me that I’m beautiful/ When I’m hand-cuffed and hog-tied” — “Any Other Couple”

5. “I’m gonna fuck you with a double-headed dildo until one of us dies” — “50 Shades”

It’s bawdy, it’s raunchy, and it’s absolutely hysterical.  Eileen Patterson’s Anastasia Steele is purposefully naïve and unassuming and Jack Boice’s Christian Grey was an overweight, sweaty, disgusting lead man who was simply brilliant. As reporter Steven Winn states “He makes Christian's sexuality both blunt and bumptious, as his noisily slurping first seduction of Anastasia demonstrates. He's part sumo wrestler and part ballet dancer, the self-absorbed star of his own story line.”

This is a show based on shock value for laughs and it delivers. If you don't mind hearing the word "fuck" sung and shouted to one and all, then I say get your tickets now.