06 December 2011

Clarity and Laziness

Today I went for a walk.  I have been sick for a few days so yesterday I came home early from work and slept, and this morning I felt better.  So after dropping my son off at school I bundled up and went walking along the harbor, looking at the variety of boats nestled among the slips.  It was a great moment for clarity, to breathe in the coldness and feel it on my fingers, while moving through patches of sun for warmth.  I thought about stories, possibilities.  I thought about my current character whose story I'm writing and how to transform her into a strong woman my readers will empathize with.  I’ve missed those moments, those walks I used to do years ago before life got in the way and I became too busy.  The creative juices I had back then almost boiled me raw.

All my life all I’ve ever wanted to do is write, and now I’ve been blessed with the chance to fulfill my dream.  Walking alongside the harbor, seeing the sparkling ocean, reminded me that it is so easy to sit on the laurels of what has been achieved...though I’m far from accomplished.  I’ve remembered that I should never take for granted the opportunities I’ve been given.  The drive I once had, before my first book being picked up for publication, came speeding back into me like a steam roller, demanding to know why I let so much complicate the dream. 

So.  There it is.  How could I forget it?  How could I keep telling myself, “Soon…” when soon is now?  I’ve missed the voices in my head, the ideas overflowing until I can’t sleep until I write them down.  I’ve missed that writer I used to be. 

Hello, sunshine!

1 comment:

  1. Beth,
    It sounds like you have had the lamp re-lit, as it were. I know that you can be the writer you want to be. You have always, as long as I've known you (and that's been a while now!) been able to focus on a project and follow it to the end. You have had the will-power to sit down and put in the work. It is easy to say "I want to be a writer" (which I always tell myself), but quite another to have the patience and diligence to actually do it. And I think that you should try to get in as may of these walks as possible, in order to keep the process a joy.
    With the exception of the cold (brrrr...) it sounds like it was a beautiful walk for you. I'm glad you get to live in such a picturesque place!!