13 August 2020

The Evernighties Weekly Blog Challenge - Week 33

Online Dating - Have You? Would You?

I never thought I'd be the type of person to do online dating, because there are so many horror stories out there. I am a fan of the ID network and True Crime, so I've seen many, many stories of women who trusted online dating. 

In 2015 I broke up with my boyfriend of 15 years. It had been a very toxic relationship for me, even though my boyfriend wasn't a bad man. We simply were two people who didn't mesh, and after 15 years I was tired of trying to fit a circle into a square peg. 

At 42 I was suddenly single. I've been single before so I wasn't freaking out. Instead I knew I had to figure out why I kept gravitating toward men that wasn't right for me. I seemed to have formed this pattern of finding men that needed my help. I took two weeks off and decided to go back to my hometown of Dexter, Missouri. To rediscover myself. I had a son, but I left him with his dad in order to focus on me. I needed to be selfish for that amount of time to figure out where I needed to head in my life. 

I learned A LOT about myself. I realized that I was an enabler. I found men that had something wrong and I wanted to fix him, enabling him to continue on the bad habits. When I came back home, I knew I wanted someone in my life that I didn't need to hold his hand and "fix" him. 

My friend, Sylvia, told me to check out this dating site called "Plenty of Fish". I thought it was a terrible idea. And she was like, "No, it's fun. All you do is go on dates. You don't need to commit to anything. Find out what men you want to be with." And from that aspect, it made sense. I needed to change pattern, so I decided to try it in order to see what men were out there and what I didn't want in a partner.

I ended up talking to a few men. Went on a few dates, making sure to meet in a public place so I wouldn't feel threatened. And I discovered so many normal men! And as I combed day after day through the lists of men, reading through their profile, it really gave me a sense of what I was looking for. 

In October of 2015, a man by the name of Mike contacted me and I began chatting with him online. After a couple of weeks, I felt comfortable enough to graduate to texting. And then I got sick. I mean, REALLY sick. I lost my voice. I was fatigued. I would work, then go home and sleep. I exsiste din this fog. For a whole week, I didn't go online. I didn't check my phone. I don't think I've ever been that sick before. When I got my strength back, I saw Mike had texted me a bunch of times and I responded. We soon made plans to meet in person and our first date was November 11th at the local Chocolate Factory. And as soon as I laid eyes on him, something came over me and I just knew he was The One. I don't know what it was, but there was this inner shift as if every puzzle piece in my life suddenly aligned. 

Later, he admitted he had the same feeling. 

As a romance writer, I do believe in soul mates, and I have to admit, I think Mike is mine. We dated for nine months, lived together for 3 years, and then we got married and just celebrated our one year anniversary. I love his daughter as if she were mine. He loves my son. We are a wonderfully blended family and I am so in love with my husband.

And it all came about from meeting online.

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